Tracy is a writer, marketing director and mother of two.
She has a blog on love addiction at www.thelovelyaddict.com
"Not many people believe love addiction can be cured; they believe it can be treated and that a person can feel better, live better, but that it never goes away completely. I disagree. We are love addicts because we learned faulty defense mechanisms. We learned that avoiding ourselves by obsessing over others is the only way to truly survive and protect ourselves from pain. But lessons can be learned and unlearned and relearned. In recovery you can learn a whole new way of life and never go back. I know, because that is the story of my life.
I was "in love" for as long as I can remember. If I didn't have a boyfriend, I didn't feel "alive". Romance was a high I couldn't live without, and I gave up career paths, education and stability to follow some boyfriend around instead. The reality was that I was just avoiding myself, and my life. I was hiding behind love because living an independent life and taking care of myself was too scary.
But, in 2008, shortly before the making of this film, I made a promise to myself that I would, for the very first time, face my life and not be afraid anymore. I promised myself that I would change and learn new patterns of living, and that's exactly what I did. Along with extensive recovery work, I also set real world goals for myself, all of which I accomplished. I got out of a toxic marriage, I quit smoking, I left a relationship that I was addicted to, I went back to graduate school, became a Marketing Director of a mid-sized corporation, and I refused to date anymore men who were not my equal. Ultimately, I healed. And in January 2009, I met a wonderful, loving, healthy man - the first of his kind, whom I would not have recognized if it were not for my own internal change. We have been together ever since and now live together.
Water seeks its own level. It's as simple as that.
